竹之馨香

There are some men who make women feel very lovable and desirable. They lavish love and gifts on them, and make them feel very special. But when it comes to marriage, they back out. They have a great fear of getting tied to a single woman for life. They run away from the very idea of marriage. Their relationships never have fairytale endings; instead they are littered with heartbreaks.
These men suffer from commitment phobia, a fear of committing themselves to one single woman. However, they don't hesitate to play the loving game. They go out of their way to make their women feel special. They woo them with all the passion that they can command. But they cool off once the woman talks of marriage.

How to spot a commitment phobe

For any woman it is important to spot commitment phobes - that is men who suffer from commitment phobia - early in the relationship. This is the only way they can keep their feet firmly on the ground, and not get swept away by the charm offensive launched by such men.
Fortunately, the commitment phobes are very predictable and display several common traits. These are:

1. They have been involved in several relationships in the past, but all of them have been brief.

The reason, they will charmingly tell you, is that they are yet to come across a woman of their dreams, someone with whom they can have a lifelong relationship. You are that woman, they will tell you. It is for you to spot the lie or swallow it hook, line and sinker.
2. They would show much more interest in you that you do in them.

They will follow you, beseech you, please you, woo you - try every trick in the trade to win you over.
They will even drop hints of long and stable relationships; they will talk of "we" and "us" not "I" and "me".
3. They will make you feel very special.

They will shower you with love and affection. They will make you feel their world will come to an end if you spurn them or misunderstand them. You will find it impossible to resist them, unless you realize what is happening.
However, this ardent wooing will be limited to the first phase of the relationship. The relationship will take a different turn the moment you surrender It is not that such men treat women as trophies to be won, and then displayed in their personal museums; but they are driven by contradictory feelings. They neither want to give up a woman nor want to commit themselves to her. It is a psychological disorder. But it can have serious effects both on the relationship, and on you.
You will not realize what has happened to your relationship. The same man, who could not live without you for a moment, will start looking for excuses to stay away from you. You will no longer be the shining light of their lives. The talk of matrimony will freeze them. Your tears may make them unhappy but it will not move them. It wouldn't be long before you are left only with memories and tears; the commitment phobe would have moved forward to another woman.

Why do they behave like this

You need not search for reasons for the souring of the relationship. You should also not blame yourself for what has happened. You must realize that commitment phobia is an emotional disorder, and you have become a victim of a person suffering from such a disorder.
According to psychologists, the commitment phobes behave like this because they suffer from certain beliefs about relationships. This may happen because:
1. As a sensitive child, a commitment phobe's world was torn by a bitter divorce between his parents.

He grew up with a feeling that there can be no permanent relationship between a man and a woman. Such a relationship can only bring pain in the long run.
2. Some commitment phobes cannot reconcile to the death of their father or mother or forget the sadness and grief that overcame their parents when one of them died.

They therefore grow up with the feeling of not to enter into permanent relationships - relationships that can bring pain on account of the death of a loved one.
3. Some commitment phobes may have been betrayed by those whom they loved.

This would have created a mindset of never to give in to a woman again.

How to deal with a commitment phobe

http://www.eioba.com/a61562/what_to_do_with_a_man_who_has_commitment_phobia

阿娇一首煽情的小诗，勾出了大家的心底情愫。

你问我最怕什么  怕不能遇到你

你问我最怕什么，怕遇到了却错过了你

你问我最怕什么，怕遇到了没有错过，但你却不懂我得爱

你问我最怕什么，怕遇到了还梦想找到一个更好的

你问我最怕什么，怕没有遇到却以为遇到了

你问我最怕什么，怕遇到了，我还没学会珍惜

你问我最怕什么，怕原来你不是我的洋娃娃，我才是你的那个呼之即来挥之即去的洋娃娃。

Its a commitment-phobe generation.

No matter M/F, few ppl willing to commit for realationship,for work,for eveything needed…

That’s why ambiguous relationship extremely pop for downtown ppl, they are modern,high income, work hard,play hard for sure, only commit less.

It seems choiceful, the fact is each single lonely soul dreaming to find out a perfect partner, dreaming so called dreaming, just because its fucking damn hard to come ture.

Its a crazy weird circle for dreaming, and im the one of them, there arent perfect one ready for us at all, no ambiguous, im gonna chasing my little tiny happyness.

今天喝挂了，立字留念。

A：Never Blame others,just ur porblem

B:I C,but show me a right way

A:Cant, its ur life, need ur own power to make it better. no one can even get involve to do so.

B:Fine, i’ll try, 1st and last battle.

Shameless or happyness? Even god cant show me the answer…………

What a wonderful life, reality just fucking different with the rules, so called rules.

There arent rules at all, only naive ppl think it so, fucking messed reality.

今天在一个特有情调的四合院儿小馆子吃了顿开心的饭，饭后，我人在听朋友们说话，脑子神游了一下，深深的想念了一下我滴闺蜜朋友们以及他们的生活，当然还包括他们的感情生活......  然后，我霎那间觉得好幸福，恩，是的，我可以成为一个作家，这样就不用去上班乐，在家当个SOHO，哇哈哈哈哈哈～！

我想，我的第一本书的书名儿应该是《侯老师与他内三桌打麻将的老婆们》，书名是有点低俗，但是低俗当道，越低俗越有市场嘛，这样才能配合读者的阅读口味，而且,书中，我还将配合多年收集的珍藏图片若干，限制级的就算了，怕河/蟹咬，大家敬请期待。

第二本叫《孟吉那些事儿》，IAN弟弟为人低调，但那是表面，其实他就是个蔫儿坏的家伙，非常猥琐，而且又在看起来人模人样的BANK工作，我想现在大众一定非常有兴趣探听城市小白领不为人知滴一些搞笑事情，嗯哼～！

第三本叫《Stephen弟弟的幸福生活》 上周突然接到红色炸弹，江元星小盆友竟然要结婚乐，8过是一年以后，只是最近流行提前一年扔红蛋，省得到时候砸坏花花草草顺带吓着小盆友的，Stephen弟弟是我们的典范，爱情长跑若干年，最后终成眷属，所以这本书应该是个大结局完美的煽情小说。

第四本叫《房地产商--国总是如何积累资本的》 书中会披露一些国总不为人知的小秘密，以及我们是如何一起败家，然后又从败家的深渊中自我反省，并自我调整，自强不息的血泪史。其中会穿插一些国总的桃花史作为噱头，但是总体来说，这本书是励志主题。

第五本叫《焦川家康》 焦哥本来就是个有故事的人，并且故事多的我都不记得了，所以焦哥的故事要用上中下三本篇幅来记述。基本上这是个历史题材的系列丛书，广大的青少年盆友们能从中学到历史，古汉语，marketing，广告，PR，长跑，厨艺，整蛊等知识。

第六本叫《天一UK游学记》 书中将让天一带大家游历UK，带你介绍最好玩的PUB,BAR，还有介绍苏格兰GOLF的知识,还有如何打壁球，如何打台球，以及马术，剑术等等娱乐项目的内容。

写完这些，我就可以写本自传了《我为什么会孤单一生》 这本书其实只有一句话，应该是以上六本书的序，那就是：答案请看这六个男人的故事。

什么叫交友不慎.......

嗯哼

哦，差点忘记了，我还会写本外传，专门记录《非洲小红探险记》，记录李学尧童鞋是如何在沙漠中自强不息over the rainbow的故事，敬请期待，哇哈哈哈哈哈哈

最近人懒，肥了不少，更是无心更新，而且日子也过的着实平淡，工作日工作，周末夜店，吃吃喝喝，也还不错。

每个周末过的都很资的，可圈可点，还算是值得记录一下。

上周五跟同事在家里做饭玩儿-----许久不做饭，现在做饭，跟娱乐也相差无几，也到乐得自在。 饭后奔到南锣过客杀人，第一次16，7个人一起杀，再加上有我这样的新手若干，杀人简直成了抬杠搞笑大会，笑的我脸一直在抽筋，奋战到凌晨两点才回家；周六上午10点半就爬了起来，跟俩同事晕晕忽忽的飘到南锣Brunch，在露台上吃了顿久违的英式早茶，晒着太阳，懒懒的聊到了下午起风为止，然后又转战到了Vineyard,在干净静谧的四合院儿里喝下午茶到太阳西下，才恋恋不舍的飞回家换衣服，晚上跟国总到国家大妓院看了计划许久的《暗恋桃花源》，终于看了，其实2月初就把票定了，这一个月一想起来就会很兴奋，看完，心里也踏实了，没有期望的那么好，只是桃花源很搞笑，暗恋部分也只有最后有点小感动，没有想像的那么文艺范儿啦，国家大妓院果然很壮观，只是安检很麻烦，连我都不知道包包里什么时候扔了俩火机被机器查了出来，还被保安小MM大声的报了出来，丢脸ing。

上上周末也过的蛮纠结，一晚上串了好几个Bar,其中就有京城著名的LALA  Bar，额滴神啊，进去没有3分钟，偶滴价值观彻底被改变了，里面全是李宇春打扮的“小哥们儿”，我们一同去的还有几个帅锅，刚一踏进去里面的气氛就变了，霎那间静了下来，只见看门儿的姑娘煞是凶狠的对内哥们儿甩了一句：男士门票50，我们就集体芬特儿了～ 偶看架势不对，转头就闪，出门仰天长吼一声：我爱男人，众人笑喷；随后立马转场FACE，喝酒压惊，太太太崩溃了，难道真的每个人心里都有座断背山？？？

巨蟹座变态的基因对我影响太深了，去了一次中8楼，被一道菜迷惑，于是很是不要脸的连着3天都去猛吃，不好意思总叫一拨人吃，于是费尽心思抓不同的人陪我去吃，只有服务员应该觉得我很变态吧，天天来。其实真的蛮不错的，跟我去过的人，都说不错，赫赫，而且价格还不贵啦～～～！ 上周五纪梵希品牌日，偶作为VIP过去参加免费化妆培训活动，结果一冲动又败了一套美白，半套彩妆回家，自责之余还是要赞一下他们家的墨藻珍萃面霜，润的不行，还很补水，另外新上的美白眼霜也好用到不行。

唉，最近真的很没出息，生活的主题就是吃吃喝喝，玩玩乐乐，总是幸福的让我有种不真实的感觉，偶也该开始调整状态，再回归风风火火的工作狂的状态吧。 恩哼～！

The End

若不是昨晚上跟国总聊天，还没有意识到，回国已经满两年了。

下午宅在家里翻看了在英国的照片，每看一张，心都会跟着揪一下，多么美好的时光啊，蓝的天，清澈的水，静谧的公园，古老的教学楼，朋友们各个单纯开心的笑脸，单纯的生活，真诚的朋友们，无忧无虑的日子，真好。

08年轰轰烈烈的过去了，想想回国700多天的日子里，换了三份工作，搬了四次家，从刚回国时的不知天高地厚，自以为是，到现在的褪去稍许浮躁，开始脚踏实地做事，走了太多的弯路。成长的痛苦就在于，今天的我回望昨天的自己是那么的幼稚，于是不停的纠结，不停的调整，不停的修正，现在发现，所有的不快乐都源于自己定下的不切实际的目标，往往只看中了光鲜外表而忽略了朴实的本质。 08年遇到很多人，很多诱惑，很多困扰，也曾偏离自己的轨道放纵挥霍，但是关键的时候总有朋友在身边当头棒喝，悉心劝慰让我又找回了自己的轨道。

下午看了老佛爷早些时候的记录，很有感触，那时候，我们都不是现在的我们，没有一切的虚荣浮躁，我们却都快乐单纯的生活着。 M小朋友结婚了，我们一起吃饭的时候，她就那么平静的一句：我结婚啦，我跟国总几乎是异口同声的问，那你婚礼打算怎么办。 下午在家看了Sex and City 电影版，里面 Mr.Big 从Carrie 的盛大奢华婚礼上无奈出走，时隔一年后Mr.Big对 Carrie说:结婚是你我俩人的事情，只是你跟我,看着Carrie穿着不是名牌但依旧圣洁的礼服跟Mr.Big宣誓时，非常的感动，其实幸福只事关你我。但是往往现实的压力，虚荣心作祟，很多事情最后就变了味道，偏离了本来的方向。

08年8月离开了工作一年的希马，离开时失落到底，倾尽全力努力付出的公司，最后筋疲力竭的离开，当时无比的失落，仅3个月后，却戏剧化的到了JM，反而成了希马的上级公司，于是，之前的失落感被现在的小成就感不断的回报，若不是当时MIC手把手的带，不厌其烦的补课，高强度高标准的工作压力，现在的工作不会那么快的上手，所以，有的时候暂时的失落未必就是真的吃亏，因为谁都不知道明天会发生什么，要乐观的看待所有的风气云涌。

夜店流连许久，往往一周都见不到老妈一面，上周，老妈终于忍不住开始抱怨：儿子，你都很久没跟我玩儿了，于是推掉所有活动，陪老妈看了场电影，吃了一顿鼎鼎香，一顿日本菜，做了个手护理，逛了个街，所有费用还全计我账上，事后老妈非常得瑟的跟舅母炫耀了跟我哈皮的过程，然后不多见的还夸奖了我，哦弥陀佛，太美了，太有成就感了。回想下这几个月都没送过老妈礼物，除了每个月固定的帮她老人家交手机费，新年圣诞都没有送过礼物，这几个月玩儿心太重了，挣的钱几乎全部吃饭买酒了，也难怪同事送我吃货之花以及夜店女王封号了。

翻看08年底的计划，很搞笑，09年也就不定什么计划了，顺其自然吧，经历了08年的种种，非常清楚自己现在需要做什么，脚踏实地的把每一件事情做好，做个更靠谱的人，对自己好，对家人好，对真正朋友好，充实自己的每一天。

依旧非常忙，忙着工作，忙着爬梯，忙着赶场.........

搬家了，搬到了后现代城，房子很好，最高层，18，房号也是8号，1808，很吉利，也许是换了房子的缘故，最近的运气也开始转好了，虽然很累，累心，累体力，但是很充实，感觉自己天天都在进步，很好的状态。

虽然房子是北向，没有阳光，但是房间窗户正对着四环，还有华茂中心，夜景好到让人心醉，通常，不管多晚回家，都会在阳台上喝杯热茶，抽只小烟，很惬意，终于有了一点点安定下来的感觉。

好了，不废话贴照片。

11月的复古爬梯,红卫兵小折腾一把

11月TOP ESSENCE